Get Stuffed Entertainment

Now my niece is getting married, so a hen’s night was planned,
For a bit of entertainment the girls booked a giant bucking gland.
A huge pink male member that worked like a mechanical cow,
To see it towed down the street would raise many an eyebrow.

The girls just wanted to have some fun so two hours was set aside,
More than enough time, for them all to mount and have a ride.
But the booking time came and went no sign of the giant cock,
The girls were getting frustrated as the hands moved round the clock.

An hour and a half late it finally arrived at their door,
So the giant bucking penis the girls began to explore.
I believe the operator was rude; he then began to smoke and drink,
Your insurance company doesn’t cover that, I shouldn’t think.

Promised feedback on social media caused a real war of words,
One article in the print media got some of the facts a little blurred.
Radio stations latched onto the story as word spread around the city,
Word of mouth recommendations are not so good mores the pity.

You called a pregnant girl fat and ugly, your FB response a disgrace,
The language you used in social media was most certainly out of place.
I wouldn’t think this hoo-ha is good advertising for your operation,
I’d say your giant bucking penis got a real hen’s night castration.

                                                      © Corin Linch 26/2/15
 http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/perth-hens-in-war-of-words-after-entertainment-cock-up-20150226-13opoz.html

A Stairway to Heaven or A Highway to Hell

          A Stairway to Heaven or a Highway to Hell

There is a stairway to Heaven or at least that’s what they say,

But if you are going to Hell you can take a well-used Highway.

There are multi lanes and all downhill so in neutral you can coast,

The closer you get the higher the flames until you begin to roast.

I’m told it’s slightly crowded and there is a premium on space,

But it’s easy traveling not like climbing Heavens staircase.

‘Cos if you are on the stairs to Heaven the climb is steep and slow,

And there are detours everywhere if you’re not sure which way to go.

If you ever reach the top there is no guarantee they will let you in,

Because Saint Peter has a ledger that records and details every sin.

It makes for salacious juicy reading if you like that kind of thing,

There’s no telling where he’ll send you or which way he’ll swing.

He may send you on a side road which is I’m afraid a one way track,

It junctions with a Highway from which there’s no way back.

Unlike the stairs which were peaceful there is a lot of traffic here,

But your cruise control kicks in and you don’t even have to steer.

Acca Dacca rule the airwaves so you’ll surely know where you are,

`Thunderstruck` on `The Highway to Hell`, just cruising in your car.

You’ll be `Back in Black` as you `Play Ball` and hear `Hells Bells`,

The music will become deafening as you join the Devils clientele.

© Corin Linch 27/2/15